


I Don't Even Know What to Call This Shit

by roryuniverse



Category: BBC Sherlock
Genre: I'm done with life, John is bad at puns, Just say no to it, M/M, Sherlock can't flirt, Tags, Wtf did I just write, done, i don't know how to tag anymore, say no to this, um tags, wtf is this shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 05:38:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10892820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roryuniverse/pseuds/roryuniverse
Summary: John is caught looking at lady porn, the scoundrel.





	I Don't Even Know What to Call This Shit

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to do a goof, super short 'fic, because why not? We all need laughter. Might do more, if people request. But I'm not funny, so I don't know why anyone would do that. 'Fic contains salty commentary because I'm salty. Enjoy, I guess??

One day, John was sitting at his desk, looking at lady porn because he needed some relief, groping at his crotch (which was, apparently, as big as it is mentioned to be in every fanfic ever). He couldn't believe he was doing this, yet he could. After all, he was a lonely son of a bitch. He abruptly stopped his movements when he heard somebody walking in, and turned to see his good friend, Sherlock Holmes.  
Okay, maybe not "good friend". Maybe more than that. Because John swung both ways. Hell yes.  
He couldn't help but to stare at the taller man before him (this triggers me as a hobbit, as much as it does John), licking his lips slowly.  
"Whale, whale, whale. What do we have here?" he said, grinning.  
"Stop making puns, Jawn, you sound so stupid." Sherlock rolled his eyes, acting as if he was so smart, like always. Cock.  
Anyway, John seemed unfazed by the other's comment as he stood, slowly stepping toward him as if stalking his prey. He had a boner in his pants and he couldn't say no to this.  
Sherlock watched John approach. He already knew the doctor was hard af because he already deduced it, the bastard. Why could he never deduce the love between them, I don't know, but moving right along.......  
"Why were you looking at lady porn, Jawn?" Sherlock asked randomly. Because you usually ask your flatmate what they're doing in their free time, as for some reason or other it's your fucking business.  
"Well, I needed some relief, so....." John admitted rather shyly.  
"I see. But you could've told me. I'm way better than that. And I'm the real deal." Sherlock winked.  
"Sherlerk. You can't flirt, so stop."  
"Ok fine. But let's fuck."  
So the two men fucked all night. The next morning, John woke up to find an otter in his bed.  
He screamed.  
The end.


End file.
